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sarcasm and jokes about ugly christmas sweaters?

need some jokes or sarcastic comments about ugly christmas sweaters for a funny christmas card… got any? (ps: keep it about the sweaters, nothing about mom and dad saying they wanted to get hot and heavy so grandma knitted everyone sweaters) thanks! =]

Asked by:youreariotx

Christmas Jokes That I found?

Here are a few jokes that I have found.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
Christmas Quakers

What is black and white and red all over?
A penguin with sunburn

What is red and white and goes round?
Santa in a revolving door
OK this one ain’t Xmas related, but my nephew told me this.
What is black and white, black and white?

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How about.! Can you write a Christmas-y story with these characters interacting? (Just a fun activity!)?

Mr Schrooge
Cinderella
Casper the friendly Ghost
The Grinch
Cruella DeVille
Any famous faerie

Asked by:Silva

Christmas jokes & riddles?

see if you can ***** these jokes & riddles. (note: they shouldn’t be too hard) WINNER GETS TEN POINTS FOR ANSWERING ALL OF THEM CORRECTLY! NO CHEATING!!!!
1. What do elves learn in school?
2. What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
3. What Christmas Carol is a favorite of parents?
4. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
5. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
7. What kind of bird can write?
8. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
9. How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
10. What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
11. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
12. What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
13. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
14. Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
15. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
16. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
17. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
18. What’s Christmas called in England?
19. The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
2) He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) He is Santa Claus.
20. Why does rain drop, but snow fall?
you don’t have to answer #19, i just put that in there for fun. ๐Ÿ™‚
ill post the answers later
umm well there is a tie
BONUS QUESTION!!!!! IF YOU GET THIS RIGHT PLUS ALL OF THE JOKES YOU WILL GET 10 POINTS!!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚
bonus joke:
It’s been around for millions of Christmases, but its no more than a month old. What is it?
heres the answers:
1 the elf-abet
2 theres no L
3 silent night
4 so he can hoe hoe hoe
5 frosted flakes
6 frostbite
7 a pen-guin
8 Ill have a boo Christmas without you
9 fleece navidad!
10 sandy claws
11 Crisp Cringle
12 He had low elf esteem
13 Neither candles always burn short!
14 he had low elf- esteem
15 claustrophobic
16 Its Christmas Eve
17 He couldn’t concentrate
18 Yule Britannia!
19 the three stages of man…
20 People really don’t know but they think its cause the rain is heavier.

Bonus Question!!!!!:

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where is the perfect site to fined christmas jokes & riddles?

i’m setting a little surprise for my family on christmas eve.
so in order to do that i need a little help,and jokes and riddles would help!!!!

thanks=D

Asked by:rainbow_art3000

Do you guys know any clean christmas jokes?

I need it for my christmas cards. I don’t want anything unclean because most of the cards are going to people younger than me. And I’m not old.

Asked by:?ยง?ยง?

What is your family’s favorite Christmas movie?

My fiance and I argue about this (in good humor) as to what is the “ultimate” Christmas movie.

I say “It’s a Wonderful Life”
She says “A Christmas Story”.

Now I can appreciate her choice, but I think it pales next to Jimmy Stewart in a classic role.

What do you guys think? Agree with one of our choices? Have a different one?
I hope to get a lot of responses… this should be fun!

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