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Funny Instructions?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods…

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s ‘just’ a suggestion!)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let’s experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn’t that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm…something must have gotten lost in the translation…)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one…)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you’ve tried this…)

On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That’s right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

  • dukalink6000 posted: 03 Nov at 9:49 pm

    I can just see the emergency room……….

  • shadowatdustcatcher posted: 03 Nov at 10:17 pm

    Got a packet of peanuts on an airline with the warning “Caution, may contain peanuts.”

  • aly h posted: 03 Nov at 11:00 pm

    Thats Hillarious. Ive never seen this before. Thanks for a smile I needed that.

  • squeekmnstr posted: 03 Nov at 11:32 pm

    But you do realize that the stupid people of the world actually performed some of these stunts to get the warning made… We come from an intelligent society.

  • KrystalKlear posted: 03 Nov at 11:42 pm

    Hey You Copied them from http://www.funnyjunk.com that’s where i’ve seen them from but Hey they’re still funny, even if you copied them http://www.funyjunk.com and the McDonald’s add they’re both funny!!!!!!!! LOL!! Thanks for the Laugh Any ways!!

  • jujjiebooboo1 posted: 04 Nov at 12:22 am

    omg tooo cute.. thanks for that

  • mark posted: 04 Nov at 12:27 am

    hahahah
    gotta say preety hillarious!
    lol

  • Chewie posted: 04 Nov at 1:17 am

    It’s not an instruction, but if you look on the package of Preparation H, it lists flavor as an ingredient.

  • dingbat posted: 04 Nov at 1:36 am

    You just made me laugh so hard!!! The thing is, I had a really rough day and needed that. Thanks.

  • ras1959 ? posted: 04 Nov at 2:04 am

    Boggles the mind, doesn’t it!

  • Cindy posted: 04 Nov at 2:34 am

    Thanks for a good laugh.

  • Christopher E posted: 04 Nov at 2:41 am

    Shouldnt there be warnings on glue
    (not intended for art-time snack?)

  • hey you posted: 04 Nov at 2:50 am

    Those are hilarious!!! I actually laughed out loud! I’ve got one though: On a bottle of Brawn Wrinkle Release spray – the instructions are:

    1. Spray fabric evenly in a sweeping motion OR
    2. Smooth wrinkles by hand OR
    3. Hang dry OR
    4. For a more pressed look, spray while ironing.

    (gotta love it!)

  • GoingNoWhereFast posted: 04 Nov at 3:38 am

    those who couldn’t raise their hands obviously tried to stop the chainsaw!

  • Electric posted: 04 Nov at 3:59 am

    no sunshine here, cloudy since morning…….but when these instructions were read, I found sun shining and a bright day ahead…thanks for these funny ones…hahahaha

  • karl_0905 posted: 04 Nov at 4:18 am

    Here is one instruction: GET OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE WHEN YOU BUY THOSE ITEMS!!! (just kidding. really.)

  • jfmm posted: 04 Nov at 4:41 am

    LOL. Yes, humans are brilliant! LOL.

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