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Funny Instructions?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods…

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it’s ‘just’ a suggestion!)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let’s experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn’t that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm…something must have gotten lost in the translation…)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one…)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you’ve tried this…)

On a child’s Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That’s right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

  • dukalink6000 posted: 03 Nov at 9:49 pm

    I can just see the emergency room……….

  • shadowatdustcatcher posted: 03 Nov at 10:17 pm

    Got a packet of peanuts on an airline with the warning “Caution, may contain peanuts.”

  • aly h posted: 03 Nov at 11:00 pm

    Thats Hillarious. Ive never seen this before. Thanks for a smile I needed that.

  • squeekmnstr posted: 03 Nov at 11:32 pm

    But you do realize that the stupid people of the world actually performed some of these stunts to get the warning made… We come from an intelligent society.

  • KrystalKlear posted: 03 Nov at 11:42 pm

    Hey You Copied them from that’s where i’ve seen them from but Hey they’re still funny, even if you copied them and the McDonald’s add they’re both funny!!!!!!!! LOL!! Thanks for the Laugh Any ways!!

  • jujjiebooboo1 posted: 04 Nov at 12:22 am

    omg tooo cute.. thanks for that

  • mark posted: 04 Nov at 12:27 am

    gotta say preety hillarious!

  • Chewie posted: 04 Nov at 1:17 am

    It’s not an instruction, but if you look on the package of Preparation H, it lists flavor as an ingredient.

  • dingbat posted: 04 Nov at 1:36 am

    You just made me laugh so hard!!! The thing is, I had a really rough day and needed that. Thanks.

  • ras1959 ? posted: 04 Nov at 2:04 am

    Boggles the mind, doesn’t it!

  • Cindy posted: 04 Nov at 2:34 am

    Thanks for a good laugh.

  • Christopher E posted: 04 Nov at 2:41 am

    Shouldnt there be warnings on glue
    (not intended for art-time snack?)

  • hey you posted: 04 Nov at 2:50 am

    Those are hilarious!!! I actually laughed out loud! I’ve got one though: On a bottle of Brawn Wrinkle Release spray – the instructions are:

    1. Spray fabric evenly in a sweeping motion OR
    2. Smooth wrinkles by hand OR
    3. Hang dry OR
    4. For a more pressed look, spray while ironing.

    (gotta love it!)

  • GoingNoWhereFast posted: 04 Nov at 3:38 am

    those who couldn’t raise their hands obviously tried to stop the chainsaw!

  • Electric posted: 04 Nov at 3:59 am

    no sunshine here, cloudy since morning…….but when these instructions were read, I found sun shining and a bright day ahead…thanks for these funny ones…hahahaha

  • karl_0905 posted: 04 Nov at 4:18 am

    Here is one instruction: GET OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE WHEN YOU BUY THOSE ITEMS!!! (just kidding. really.)

  • jfmm posted: 04 Nov at 4:41 am

    LOL. Yes, humans are brilliant! LOL.

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